Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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