bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
