i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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