I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
