i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
