I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it's great music for shaving your balls
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
