party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So squirting runs in the family.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Randomize
