we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
