I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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