so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
