If i come over, it means nothing
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wish there were birth control emojis
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
