i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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