someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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