Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
