Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
