Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
