Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
