My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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