did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
