Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
