my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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