know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
