Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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