does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
