ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
