Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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