Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
