once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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