i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
