omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
