and next time when you feel me up, do it right
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
