You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
