Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
