I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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