I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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