JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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