Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
