Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
