So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
