Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
