john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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