I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
