We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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