Dual....:-)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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