craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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