Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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