we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
