Me. At least after what I've been through.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
