and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
