are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My room smells like vodka and shame
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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