have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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